Pulp NonFiction

I think everyones taste or preference for something comes from an initial, subconscious comparison to someone they know, envy, respect or hate. 

That being said, I'll tell you about what happened this morning...

I woke up and started reading Pulp..Bukowski didnt take shit from anyone. Even though he wasnt a huge guy or a popular guy, he wasnt afraid of anyone. Maybe because he had nothing to lose. I read a few pages and had to be off to work.

I stop at Dunkin Donuts for my usual...medium hazelnut and a croissant with one piece of cheese. I get my croissant and then decide to get a paper. So I grabbed the paper which was 50 cents, took out a dollar and  while the kid had the drawer open giving the asshole in front of me his change. I say "hey, when you get a chance, could you just give me 50 cents?" and i put the dollar down.  

Asshole turns around "you wanna wait until he gives me change buddy?!!?" 

This caught me offguard. Usually I would get the feeling that i was going to throw up because confrontation and I have never formally been introduced. 

But then the subconscious comparison came and I thought "WWCBD?"

Yeah, Charles Bukowski wouldnt take shit from this man in his 40's..

"no actually I dont want to wait, i'm in a rush and i just got out of line!" I snapped back.

" You got a problem?!" he turns his whole body around toward me.. I cant believe the vomit hasnt found its way up my stomach and out my nose yet! Oh yeah thats right, i havent eaten yet and I guess bile is a little more navigationally impaired than actual vomit. 

"Yeah, I DO have a problem!" These were the last words in me, I couldnt see how any more words could be thrown around without some type of physical violence (at least thats what movies led me to believe)  

I was expecting a fist but got a "YAH!" as he grunted , turning around and storming out of Dunkin Donuts...he continued to power walk to his car, got in, and squealed out of the parking lot...I could see a huge "Portland Boxing" decal on the back of his truck, haha (nervous laughter)...

Well...did ..did I just win that?....that um...you know, whatever it would be labeled as? Because, with every conflict, if  one person retreats, that leaves one winner right? Winner by default? Well guess what, if there was a winner, it was me.

I told my dad that story and before I could finish he said "WRONG (like I just Bobby was the name of the Beatles drummer or something) ...you were wrong...you should've waited."

Well guess what dad...you're a waiter, i'm a...waiter who will let you know what I think when I think it...that doesnt seem so paternally defiant..It did in my head. Anyway, the point is that I was very proud of the way I stood up for what I thought was...not so much right, as much as "ok".  and my dad didnt.  A year ago, that would've upset me...but not now...If i was so similar to my father at this point i'd feel like I was a reincarnate of someone who still had the ability to watch my on a daily basis. Fortunately, I see him about once a month so the comparisons arent drawn too often. 

I saw a movie last night. It was rubbish. I had company. It was great. 

I'm kinda glad I saw a crappy movie because i'd feel worse if we talked through a good one...

I never thought I was one of those people who talked during a movie. And before you stop reading my blog forever because I'm one of those people, let me justify my case...

     The movie sucked...

I was whispering...

   The whispers were more entertaining than the movie.

So yeah, the night was actually really good. I'm thinking the two of us may have to check out another bad movie soon...

Thanks Mr. Bukowski

Fuck you Dunkin Donuts guy...it was words this time...next time they're louder words

one step at a time..

In my CD Player:

  Band of Horses

Neutral Milk Hotel

   Tegan and Sara

Mr. Eerie