Its the only time that your thoughts are completely untouched. I wake up this morning to an unplugged electric guitar strumming through the wall. To be honest, I was amazed that it woke me up. I have this reputation for being a cold sonofabitch in the morning. People tell me they'll talk to me and have conversations but I wont remember a thing.. Either that or i'll get physically violent...only inanimate objects should fear.
One time, in a galaxy far far away (ehhhh) when I lived with my mom, she woke me up for school and made the honest mistake of saying how terrible I was acting. I remember getting up and throwing one fist at a wall but closing my eyes. I was amazed by how little it hurt. When I opened my eyes, there was (surprisingly)a hole the size of a mango....(a mango? this is why I write the second I get up...) It was 1999 and the only thing I could think of to hide my damage was a framed Britney Spears picture with a glitter frame....It was embarassing...I had a choice to make...cover the hole or...cover the hole I guess...'This will be fine' I thought. I'll just make my mom think i'm really into Britney Spears until we move out. (we had signed a year lease with her current boss to make matters worse and we had 4 months left on it.)
Besides, isn't that how most of these artists get their fans? Convenience? Lack of access to better music? Who the fuck bought me this Britney Spears picture anyway?? Well I guess I couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. The hole was covered.
FAST FORWARD
July 27th, 1999...it would be a dark day in family history.
12:45 pm....my 8 inch 3 pound cell phone starts to go off.
"Hello?"
"What the hell happened to the wall?!"
The jig was up. Or was it?
"where?"
"in your room, what happened?"
"I decided to put a Britney Spears picture up...I like her now..." ehhhh was my thought I believe.
You only put that picture that Erin gave you up to cover that FIST SIZED HOLE IN THE WALL"
See, and I thought it was more of a mango shaped hole...anyway.. It was my sister who gave me the photo...mmhmm...I was upset with her but I realized with this phone conversation going the way it was going, I would need her as an ally. I'll have to call her after this and thank her for the picture. The picture that didnt serve a purpose anymore.
"haha (nervous laughter I assure you) I did that when I got upset with you the other morning... (the other morning 3 months ago... shhh) I'm sorry"
"not yet, but you will be"
To this day..."not yet but you will be" in the context that it was in, that was the coolest thing my mom has ever said...other finalists in the "Coolest things mom has ever said"
1. "Have fun....just dont DRIVE anywhere."
2." You're going to Bermuda!"
3. "Are you high? Well, you must be hungry, here's some nachos"
back to lesser times...
When that phone call ended, the battle of 42 Bar Mills Road had begun.
This was going to be a war....not a battle...I needed to sit down and pick my strategy. I couldnt just apologize for punching a hole in the wall. Then it would seem like I didnt stand by my decision of doing it in the first place...I mean, SHE woke me up!
So I knew my mom liked company, so I started leaving the house as much as possible.
My mom knew I liked food...she stopped cooking
I was hurt...my rations were depleted...
She was hurt and had no allies with whom to confide.
July 29th 1999
after what had seemed like a week, I was malnourished
Mom was bored and lonely (it was just me and her living there)
I forget who offered the truce but both sides agreed to the terms.
- Mom would make me dinner every night after practice
- I would stop taking the car and going on hour long walks every day just to spite her. (Dont tell her, but I never liked those walks. I usually just walked to the general store a quarter mile down the road , bought a candy bar or some potato wedges and stayed there eating until I was done or became nauseous because starch doesnt mix well with confectionary treats (sorry, just glanced at my Willy Wonka poster (and the original, not the remake bullshit)))
FAST FORWARD
December 30th 2007..
Times have changed...Instead of getting physically upset upon being woken, I transfer the aggression into writing... Maybe i'll start a Nickelback hate group....do hate groups exist? I digress... The point is, times have changed. People grow up. Behaviors dont define the people they once controlled and people get much more mature.
Now theres a Belle and Sebastian record on the wall....
well...at least musical taste changes..
