Mytinerary- get it?? .....:(

what started as a 7 pm practice turned into :

 7pm-7  45 pm- set up equipment

7 45 - 8 10- watch Caps make pasta...learn how to make Vodka sauce, eat pasta, drink vodka

                     I didnt drink the Vodka but it seemed to flow with that statement...

                     I did sip on a beer from 8pm until 9 pm. which leads me to-

8 10- 9- sipped on a beer while listening to a demo of the music we were going to be playing.

9- 9 30- tasty treats and music

9 30- 9 34- Keim shows me the difference between what I'm playing and what should be                                  played.

9 34-9 40- play the song over again, swearing at myself, not for being clueless about the parts                       being played, but more about the fact that apparently i'm not good enough to fake it                     like I thought.

9 40-9 44-  see 9 30 -9 40

9 44- 10-    ran through  two more songs of which I had a little better of an idea. Caps dad                               watched us...I dont know why, but I started overthinking the parts when his dad was                     down there. Some of the thoughts running through my head: (keep in mind all these                     thoughts shot through my brain in a matter of seconds, just on a repeating loop)

                      "I need to get this right or I wont be able to justify my lack of ambition towards                            anything  besides music" "I bet you he saw Geddy Lee growing up, wow, he must                          think i'm shit" "he's probably thinking he can play this bass better than me" "did I                        just miss a note?" " the way he's bobbing his head seems like he's into the drums                         and guitar..." "maybe if I can turn down really subtly."

10-11           Listen to some music. some I've heard, some I havent. Sondre Lerche , The faces                            down quartet, Cornelius, Caps solo stuff (amazing) . Hookah time. <--- thats not a                        band. Caps took out his...ball python? i'm not quite sure if thats the right name but                      I was too distracted by the 287393 foot snake in my face. Of course it was in a                                snake cage...snake tank? well I think it was  a tank since it had glass walls and I                              think thats what makes a tank a tank and a cage a cage.  All I know is that you put a                      bird in a tank, it'll die 10 out of 10 times. And those are exact stats from a personal                      experiment.

11-12            try new guitar tones. stare at the snake from a safe distance.

                     Caps takes out a baguette , adds garlic, crushed pepper, oil. Who the fuck is                                    Macaroni Grill??

12-12 30      My car gets stuck ON the road...on the FLAT road.. can a car do that?  I'll tell you,                         yes. dont they just roll forward or backwards naturally?... cant go forward or                                backwards. Put it in reverse, gun it. nothing

                     Drive. Gas. Nothing.

                     Reverse. nothing. Drive. nothing. Reverse. Drive. Reverse. Drive.

                      nothing. 

                      Kiem, Caps and I try everything... Put cardboard under the tires for grip...I hit                               reverse and the cardboard shoots forward at the top speed for a 2 ft by 2 ft square                         of cardboard. next. two planks of wood. two planks of fucking no help was what                             they were. I thought about peeing under the tires to melt the ice. I mean, I had to                         pee at that point anyway. I held off from that idea for now.  We tried pushing it up                       and down while hitting reverse. I remember wishing I had superhuman strength or                       a time machine. Or maybe shape shifting capabilities...change into some salt...or the AAA guy? I dont know... 

Keim was nice enough to call AAA for me and they said they would be there in about      an hour...

we had some more tasty treats which in turn made me soooo hungry..and i remembered that I had  a candy bar in the car. (woohoo! Personal Victory yeah!) So I go to my car and there it is....right next to the emergency brake , which was engaged and had been since i parked my car there earlier that evening....

YOU MEAN CARS MOVE BETTER ON ICE AND IN GENERAL WHEN THE PARKING BRAKE ISNT ENGAGED? OH....I'LL GIVE THAT A SHOT THEN...

"Hey man"

"hey dude...why are oyu calling me?"

"oh, cuz I just left the house"

"like, you walked?"

"oh...yeah, no, the uh-parking brake was on the whole time...i got my car unstuck...thanks for calling AAA...i guess you can tell them not to come"

"fuck that, i'm just gonna get the fuck out of here before he gets here"

"truuuuuuuuuuu....well thanks again, peace man"

so the good news is that there was a clear cut lesson this time...dont use your parking brake on ice...for anything ever, it probably wont help with anything that you'll need it for...

some other tips:

Cut up some of your old pictures and make a puzzle of out them

Nail a backscratcher to the wall for constant/easy access

Urine, although warm, will freeze pretty quickly so...

When urine freezes, it doesnt smell like urine so bad

When frozen urine thaws out,  it smells like urine sooo bad.

This isnt a tip, but rather, question of the day:

Unicorns were give a sharp horn right on the top of their heads...I feel like they were hiding something....

maybe next time i'll actually have a question.