Children swarm the blue swings and the downward sloping red tubes as if they were ants with glucose habits placed on sugar cubes...

 thoughts like this (see title above) happen while you're in the middle of a conversation with someone at work for no reason. Well it did for me today...I dont know...I could sit down and try to think of something like this for hours with nothing...I could put on some "pure moods" CD's,  light some incense, spark a jazz cigarette, eventually  take off "pure moods" and put on some classical music, or maybe some Miles Davis "Kind of Blue"...

     But no...the pinnacle of my creativity comes in the middle of a random medial task, whether it be, doing the dishes, or putting my laundry away or  speaking to someone who recently covered up a tattoo of his ex girlfriends name with a tattoo of his CURRENT girlfriends name...I wish he'd think about competing for a Darwin award....anyway, last week I was speaking to...no, i'd say more, "listeningish" to tattoo dude when I started thinking about past relationships and thought:

"the shadows are still here, from when you said you'd stay but you cant. At first they were sun-caused, but now they're cast by the lamp."

I dont know...I guess I just dont understand how the mind works the way it does. Maybe i'm just saying...toot toot.

So my band of 3 years has broken up. The only problem is , we still have one more show to play and it isnt until Valentines Day. Which will be kind of ironic due to the fact that its V day and because it will be 3 years to the day of our first show to our last show...I guess it was meant to happen. It was just feeling stagnant you know? No , you probably dont know. Well i'll tell you...It was feeling stagnant. We were on our 4th or 5th drummer so we were constantly teaching the songs to new people, and when they'd get comfortable with the songs, they'd quit or we'd kick them out...its too bad but their problems were:

          Drummer 1: was in highschool at the time, couldnt tour with us. Also more of a straight forward pounding the drums kinda guy when we departed towards a more complex sound, mostly originated by--

          Drummer 2:  AMAZING drummer. The best i've heard personally. Very jazzy, knew theory inside and out. However, we called him Jim Morrison...he was a space cadet. I'll never forget the show where he left about 30 mins before we were supposed to go on so he could get a cymbal.  Well, we had to play 2 songs without a drummer. Let me tell you, drummers are there for a reason. Where did he go for so long? "dude, I lost track of time and I thought I had more time than I thought, and I stopped and got a burrito." which led to--

          Drummer 3:  Truth is, I dont remember much of him...he apparently played one show with us. I think he left the band because he was getting married or something? that was cute. He was forgettable and i'm thankful for that , because--

           Drummer 4:  was the SHIT! He was drummer 2's friend, so drummer 2 taught this guy how to play all of his complex parts, and he actually got it! He was right on for the most part. Unfortunately, he felt he should be getting paid at each show, but we were currently $10,000 in debt from our previous two records. (woo! go indie labels!) so we were like "hey man...if WE dont get to take money home, you dont get shit." he didnt like that, and he also said he didnt really like the music...which hurt. Thats like being with a girl for 6 months and you're like "i cant believe i found someone like this...we have so much in common and we're so alike!" and then she says "oh, I cant do this...yeah...its your personality...I just dont like, who you are" no offense. Guess what..YES offense....lots of offense.. and no offense but--

          Drummer 5:  Just didnt have it. Really nice guy. Really nice drum set. Really...tried for a while. He did. AND we did.  He tried to play and we tried to coach him along. It just wasnt meant to be. I feel like he knew that we were a higher calibur of musician (toot toot) and it made him uncomfortable and though he tried...it was just ...off. Its very unsettling to not have a word to describe how you're feeling even though you're feeling a certain way very strongly.  But we just played with him last night, which is OUR second to last show...but its his last...he just doesnt know it yet.  Thanks for trying bud, we're going to the store for a pack of smokes...we'll be right back, promise...

          Drummer 6:  For our last show ever, which is on Valentines Day, we have a drummer sitting in with us. His name is DJ and he's been playing with our lead singer (lets call him Judas)  and apparently they've had a "side project" for a while now which is now is main band...So lets call DJ, Yoko.

Yoko will be playing with us for our last show. which feels like My Mom and Dad just split and the same day her "friend" or your "uncle"  DJ (Yoko) shows up to take YOU to the zoo. Its like...It smells like animal shit. I want my mom. And who are you?

But anyway, I'm viewing this as a blessing in disguise. I'm starting a new band with my roommate and our lead guitarist from the freshly separated band...He's got some really cool ideas. I'm thinking a mix between Sonic Youth, Band of Horses, Stars and The Shins.  

It sounds cheesy, but I honestly feel like you can learn something from every situation you are involved in. Whether you think you know the lesson already or not, keep your eyes open and your ear to the ground. You'll be a better person for it. So what is the lesson? I dont know...one mans trash is-- no...

Every new beginning comes from some other beginn---no, thats semisonic

Lets just stick with "keep your eyes open and keep your ear to the ground"

Music in my CD player today:

Stars

Sondre Lerche

Microphones

The Velvet Underground